There’s something you should know about my dad.

There are a lot of things I could tell you about my dad. He lost part of his hand in a terrible accident at a local furniture manufacturing plant when I was a very young child. Before he lost his hand, he made these for me.

He went on to work at that same factory for another 20 years. He had his share of difficulties in life. When my grandmother was pregnant, she contracted the measles, this resulted in some intellectual disabilities, which meant that he had difficulties with reading and math, and also with problem solving. He never really developed the ability to assess people or their motivations, which made him quite gullible. I definitely was quite naive myself, well into my 20’s. I only saw things from my own perspective: I’m a nice person who wants good things for others, so other people must also have my best interest in mind. Growing up, he always had my best interest in mind.

I remember that he didn’t have a lot of money. But that was okay, because my whole family didn’t really have a lot of money. I can’t count the number of times, that he gave me his last $5, knowing that I was literally just going to spend it on candy- I could always count on him to send me home with a belly full of food and a little bit of cash to brighten my Sunday.

I saw him every weekend for years. We played the original card set of Magic The Gathering when I was 7, then when I got a little older we moved on to Axis and Allies. He once bought a white table, and painted, by hand, the entire board onto it so we would have a larger tile on which to place our pieces. Anyone familiar with the game knows you can hardly fit anything in those tiny “country” spaces- especially if you place a factory there! We would watch public access television, and movies like “The Princess Bride,” and play the game for hours. If we didn’t finish, he would leave it set up so we could play the following weekend. I hated how he always called me “Pumpkin” back then, but I kind of miss it now.

There’s something else you should know about my dad: Last weekend, he died. He had a pain in his leg, and went to walk it off- the autopsy confirmed that this was a blood clot, and it travelled to his heart- he died nearly instantly. He wasn’t even in his mid-50’s yet.

My favorite thing about my dad was how he never judged people. He would always be a good friend to you no matter what. He wasn’t trying to figure out what you could do for him, yet he was more than happy to go out of his way for you. He shared his home and his time with all who would accept him for who he was in return. He was always able to find the good in everyone. My closest friends know that he has passed these gifts on to me: any kindness, empathy, generosity, you see in me, these all can be attributed to the man who gave me life. I am grateful that his legacy will live on through me, and his future grandchild.

I remember the last time I saw him, back home in Canada. He just looked at me like he was so proud of me. I always knew I was the most important thing in his life. Andy told me, one time when I left the room, he made him promise to take care of me. “She’s my only daughter,” he would always say that. I know that he died knowing I would be okay. And that that would have been of great comfort to him. He was always there for me. I knew that no matter what, I could count on him.

My father will be missed by all who knew and loved him.