You made it to my site, so Hello there!

My Weight After Baby

Hello! Hope y’all are doing well!

I recently filmed a video where I talk about my weight. It was a difficult video for me to make because I know that people are going to judge. However, I think it’s important to talk about weight gain during pregnancy and the difficulty of losing weight. I think a lot of people struggle, like me, with their weight, as I have since I was very young.

A couple of things I addressed in the video, I also want to talk about here. One of those things is why I want to lose weight. I am a very lucky woman to have a partner who never comments or judges me on my weight. I also happen to appreciate my body and think I look very nice and I like my curves. Of course, I think I could look better, but I am fairly happy with the aesthetic appearance of my body as it currently is. However: there are plenty of other reasons to want to lose weight that don’t include looking better, and frankly, while younger me found looking better sufficiently motivational, older me is a lot more self-assured and happens to think she looks quite lovely.

When my daughter was born, I was elated. Immediately as I held her I thought: I want another one. I don’t want to say just yet that I absolutely 100% will have another child, that is a decision that my husband and I will make together, but I would like to be prepared if the answer is yes. Now, some of you who watch my YouTube channel will remember how difficult my pregnancy was. By the end of it, I was having difficulty walking, getting in & out of the car, sleeping, etc, – everything seemed so hard. This was at least in part due to the massive weight gain I had during pregnancy. I got over 200 pounds and my doctor wrote “gestational obesity” on my chart. Big yikes. So, not only was I “borderline” in the gestational diabetes category, I was also obese.

After I gave birth, I was really focused on taking care of my child in her initial weeks of life, and I made all of my decisions with her at the top of my mind. Now that I’m over 3 months postpartum, I have started taking care of me again. I’m back on a regular schedule with my therapist and personal trainer, and I’m going to the gym by myself much more often- I hardly ever went on my own when I was pregnant, and now I go about 1-2x a week. I’m not perfect, not by a long shot- but I’m working to start putting myself first sometimes, so I can be more present for my family.

I really feel like over the last two months, I’ve really gotten my fitness back online. Going to the gym just about every other day, with the exception of this week, being Thanksgiving, since I stayed with relatives Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, but I did go to the gym Monday and Saturday. I am not sure whether I’ll be going tomorrow (Sunday, December 1st- UPDATE: I did not go to the gym, but I did go for a walk!), it depends on how I feel. I gave it my all today at the gym, spending an hour with my trainer and logging a personal best on the bench- if you promise not to make fun, I’ll tell you that it was 105, but if you are gonna laugh, pretend you didn’t read that.

Now that I’m doing all this stuff for my body with exercise, and as my weight has slowly come down after having the baby, it’s time to get my food right. I’m going to be focusing on weight loss, and general health. I know I will not be perfect, but I plan to share everything with you, on here, and some on my YouTube channel.

For the purposes of goal-setting and measuring the achievement of those goals, my starting weight and date will be set according to when I first began watching my food- after I had lost the weight of the baby, and much of the accumulated fluid retention I had from the pregnancy.

That said, my start date was Tuesday, November 12th and my starting weight was 185.7. This is the heaviest I’ve ever weighed- it is about 15 pounds heavier than my pre-pregnancy weight. I don’t like putting a number on a goal weight, I find goal weights more ‘de-motivating’ than motivating because it always feels like there is so far to go- even when I’m within ten pounds of my goal. I mean, it’s not like I’ve never been on a diet before! It has been a while though… In any case, I do feel like it’s important to set a goal weight for measurement purposes. So, my goal weight is 148- something I had been able to maintain for years in my 20s- even though, I still did find that difficult. I am not going to delude myself into thinking that I’ll definitely make it there, so I also want to set some fitness goals that will serve as a good measure of health as well as a source of motivation for me.

One fitness goal I have is to get back into running. Now, tell me that this is not just the perfect time… just kidding, it’s a terrible time for this goal given the ever-chilling weather we’ll be having in the approaching winter. However, I’ve been hitting the treadmill and I have a FANTASTIC running program that I am looking forward to starting. This one is meant for all people all ages, they even recommend it to the elderly, so I know I can do it! Also: I have completed the program before. My goal is to get to 30 minutes of uninterrupted jogging. It doesn’t matter how fast, I just don’t want to need to stop or walk at all for 30 minutes.

Another fitness goal I have is to be able to do an unassisted tricep dip. Currently, I do assisted tricep dips, and the weight is set at 100 pounds, sometimes 85- I can kind of do one at that weight. That one is straight forward, so easy to measure. My last fitness goal, for the moment- I reserve the right to add more!- is to be able to do the splits front to back. I used to be able to do this a long time ago, and I had to train for a long time to be able to do it back then, so I anticipate that I’ll have to train a lot to do it this time too, but I am not going to be surprised if I never get there- it’s all about having the goal and the motivation to keep stretching and stay limber.

I also have a goal that involves fitting in a specific item of clothing. There’s this dress. I saw this dress in a fashion magazine a long time ago, it was a part of the Spring/Summer 2012 collection by Rag & Bone. I LOVED this dress when I first saw it. It was beautiful! However, it was $700 and I was not prepared to spend $700 on even the most prettiest of dresses. So, I didn’t buy it. Then, literally last year sometime, it just popped into my head, and I thought I might be able to find it on eBay, and there it was! I got it for $150-ish (new with tags!!!) and when it got to me, it didn’t fit. I really hope to be able to fit in this dress soon!

An idea for a future goal I have is to either get back into yoga, which I currently feel I am not in good enough shape for, I probably could go, but I don’t want to risk injury, which would totally be my fault, since I always feel like I have to keep up with the class when I should probably just go into Child’s pose and wait until I catch my breath from all those Sun Salutations. Another idea for a future goal I have is to get out of my comfort zone and try one of the aerobics classes offered at my gym. I used to love aerobics classes, but I always find those first few times to be the hardest because you have to learn all the dance moves and my misfortunate ass was born with two left feet.

For the wedding, my husband and I hired a choreographer to design and teach a dance to us. It took a lot of effort but we learned it. And every single lesson, she’d be like “wow, you’re doing great!” to my husband and always “Ok, we need to work on some things” to me. It was true. The man has some natural talent. He can’t sing, and I can’t dance, hopefully our daughter inherits our talents and not our shortcomings.

I also have another goal- a content goal- and that goal is to share everything with you. I want to share all my weigh-ins, which weigh-in days are Sundays. I just think that even though I decided to get started on a Tuesday, Sundays are just the best days for me to weigh-in.

Anyways, those are my goals, and my “where I am now”s. I made a video about it on my channel, I’ll link: here if you wanna watch, and I’ll be posting regular updates to this blog and a few updates here & there to my channel.

Just because, here are some pics of my baby:

She Has Arrived!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Princess Savannah has arrived!

I am so happy to announce the birth of my baby girl, Savannah! She was 7 pounds 3 ounces and 19 inches in height.

There will be so many pictures of her on here.

It was love at first sight, and even though pregnancy was no piece of cake, as soon as I saw her, I knew it was all worth it. She is a total sweetheart and is very well-tempered. She does keep us up at night, but she is still very young and is never colicky- she always knows what she wants. It’s just a matter of us knowing what she wants, but it’s usually one of two things, lol.

She doesn’t do much yet, she doesn’t even smile or make eye contact yet, but she reacts to our voices and she stops crying when we pick her up. She also has normal baby reflexes, like lifting her arms up randomly while she sleeps. My husband has dubbed this “The Bernie Sanders,” and thinks it’s adorable. My favorite thing that she does is the face she makes when she is trying to latch. It’s the most aggressive/ active thing that she does so I think it’s cute.

The grandparents are in love with her too, and they visit often. They also bring food, which is more than welcome. I recently celebrated my birthday and they’re taking her for the night tomorrow. My husband and I are looking forward to our date night!

That’s what I’ve got for now! Lots more picture to come 🙂

Thanks for reading!

Therapy & Pregnancy Update

Hello friendly internet people,

I so miss writing. I was thinking about getting back to writing my book, which will just be a collection of probably cynical dating advice I wish I had had when I was in my early 20’s, that way, I would not have embarrassed myself so much, but alas, I also don’t feel much like thinking right now, so an update on what is going on in my life is easier- and, I think more important for me to write.

I believe I left off here talking about my father, February/ March being difficult, and starting therapy. I’ll start by saying that I still go once a week and it is helpful. I had three initial goals for therapy one was to process the death of my father in a healthy way, and I think that I was actually mostly able to accomplish that with the help of my friends and family and also I felt a lot better after the funeral when everyone showed up to pay their respects, and I got to deliver the eulogy. I saved my notes, I’ll put them here when I get a chance.

(note: I couldn’t find the notes at the moment, but here is essentially what I said: Thank you for coming, many of you knew my father, some of you didn’t know him at all, but I appreciate you all being here today. What I admire most about my father is how non-judgmental he was. He was your friend, if you would be his friend in return. My father was a very generous man, I can’t tell you the number of times he gave me the last five dollars in his pocket, knowing that I would just spend it on candy. He always wanted the best for me, and I know that when he died, he was comforted knowing that I would be okay. He made sure I knew how important I was to him, and would always say “She’s my only daughter.” My father was a faithful believer in God. My daughter will come to know him through me and he will know her from wherever he is now.)

It was a very emotional day, but everyone was so kind. My grandfather on my mother’s side said some kind words, even though my mom & dad broke up when I was 6. He did get to know him very well, and served as a mediator from time to time. My cousin Scott put a small box of collectibles into the plot with him, my dad loved to collect basically anything and it was a thoughtful gesture on his part. I honestly wish I would have thought of it. My step-grandpa told the story of how he and my dad met, said some kind things, and reminded me that “He loved you very much.” My grandmother said some words, and I could only feel so badly for her because she was burying her second child. My father’s sister could manage no words, and I understood why. It was really hard for me to go in front of everyone and say mine, but they needed to be said, and I felt that it was an important part of the grieving process for me to say them.

My grandmother gave me a few photos of my father, and she also gave me an urn with some of his ashes inside. I was also very happy to learn that she also gave her ex-husband, my grandfather a similar urn, because he had also wanted one. He was unable to make it to the funeral, I know it meant a lot to him- as it does to me.

After the service, we gathered to talk and have a bite at the funeral home. It was very pleasant, and I got to visit with my grandfather, and a good friend of mine, who both came for the funeral from a few hours away and had to leave soon after. Then, my cousins, husband and I got to spend some quality time at the campsite with my cousins. It was so comfy- I even posted this video to Twitter about it. PS: I love Twitter. Come say hi 🙂

I said goodbye to my grandma, and we left the campsite. My trip to Canada was almost over, and I spent my last day visiting an old friend of mine, Sarah, and hanging out downtown. Unfortunately, something did not agree with my stomach, and I got very ill, making me cut my visit short. I think it was the milk- maybe it had soured? I refuse to believe that cake that delicious caused that much abdominal pain. Leave it to my old friend though, she made me feel like I was a #boss even at 6 months pregnant throwing up in a Chapters’ bathroom. Honestly, you should have been there. She kept commenting on how strong I was being. I love her.

My second goal for therapy was to develop some strategies for managing anxiety. My therapist gave me a few- I am currently using one. I really, really want to start meditating, but the idea of doing “nothing” is so foreign to me. And I’m very uncomfortable with it. Really need to get out of that comfort zone. Another thing she suggested was to develop a night time routine. Maybe I should take her up on that… I just find myself doing various things every evening with a small consistency being giving my dog her medication and taking my vitamins…brushing my teeth, then bed? Sometimes… Not much of a routine. The anxiety management technique that I AM using is when I feel anxious, I breathe and ground myself in my reality. I look around the room, count things and colors and describe what is here in my mind. This is distracting enough that it makes me stop worrying for a moment and sometimes I even forget the ridiculous thoughts I was even having. The point is to bring your mind back to reality, instead of worrying about the things that- frankly, especially in my case- are not actually worth worrying over, reason being: worrying will not solve the issues, if, in fact they can even be solved. Sometimes, I blow things out of proportion in my mind.

The third goal I had for therapy was to reconcile the thing that had triggered me when I was back at home in February. I am working on that, but it is a big tangled mess of things that need to be unravelled. I don’t know how long it will take but I’m making plans, and I will confront my fears.

So, I’m over nine months pregnant now. I feel huge. I’m actually proud of my body for holding up so well, considering my condition, but I feel really heavy, and have developed a proper waddle. I’ve shared pregnancy updates on my YouTube channel: June 1 and June 21. I talked about having low Antithrombin 3, being prescribed blood thinners and my doctors being worried about me getting a PE like my father. Being pregnant increases your risk of blood clots and after hearing about my family history and seeing the Edema in my calves/ ankles/ feet, my doctors thought it would be prudent to put me on daily blood thinners.

Right now, we’re talking about my due date and my doctor is thinking about whether she wants to induce me due to my medical issues, and we’re currently talking about scheduling a different date. The fetal medicine specialist also will be switching me over to a twice a day injection, rather than the once a day I’m on now to be safer closer to my due date. That way I won’t be on blood thinners during my birth, reducing potential complications from bleeding. I’m currently 1cm dilated and my cervix is 20% thinned. Normal for my gestation period.

In the meantime, not everything has been so difficult we have been keeping busy with the nursery (tour on my YouTube channel once we get settled) and a few social/ fun things. In one of my recent videos, I showed a bit of footage from our baby shower- Here are a couple of photos:

Here’s one a friend took of me a few days prior:

This one is probably my favorite of all the photos I’ve had taken of me and my pregnant body!

As for the social activities, we have managed to make it to a Train/ Goo Goo Dolls concert, which was AMAZING! One of my favorite songs of all time is sung by the Goo Goo Dolls, called “Iris,” and they played it and it was everything I’d imagined. I danced to it at my wedding and I have fond memories of the song, just in general too. Train also sings some of my favorite pop songs, and I ESPECIALLY like a song called “Meet Virginia.” There’s a lyric that goes “Wears high heels when she exercises, ain’t she beautiful?” And the impracticality of that totally describes me. Now, mind you, I don’t wear high heels when exercising, but I did go on a date once where we drove to Montreal in the winter and I wore OPEN TOED shoes, because they were pretty. Meanwhile, my date was a total gentleman, and although you could definitely tell that he was annoyed, we stopped somewhere to keep warm a while so my red toes could thaw. Have I told you lately how much I enjoy tangents?

Here’s something I filmed on my phone, I’m sure I’ve got a couple more things on my good camera, but I haven’t downloaded them yet- so… this is a little snippet of “Meet Virginia”

We also managed to go see “Matilda” the musical, based on the Roald Dahl book, with music and lyrics by Tim Minchin. I really enjoyed it, the kids in the audience seemed to love it, and the person they got to play Mrs. Trunchbull was absolutely fantastic. Convincing & a really good singing voice! The only note I would make is that if you didn’t know the basic storyline, it might have been hard to follow. But I’ve seen the movie several times, so I was just fine. It mustn’t have been too difficult though, because my husband said he got the basics.

Thankfully, we’ve been able to visit with friends, another thing I’m afraid I’ll be too busy for once the baby arrives. However, I’ve already made plans to go see a show in town with a friend, about 2 months after the baby is born- it is likely to be my first time away from her for a whole evening, but I do need to practice self-care, and my emotional well-being is important too!!!

That’s the most up-to-date info I’ve got, and I did want to write it all down (document it), and also let y’all know if you’re interested to hear!

Thanks for reading/caring/sharing. Let me know what you think in the comments!

Picking myself back up.

Hello Internet People!

FIRST: TLDR? Here is a YouTube video where I say most of this instead. Bonus: Fast Forward to 17:43 for a silly Motel Tour.

It has been quite a while. Too long, really, truly, too long. The last time I posted a video was the tail end of January, and I only blogged once since then on my other site: www.lululemonexpert.com. If you know me, you know that writing is my real passion. I love to write and express my feelings and opinions that way. It is my calling. I love to be creative, and YouTube has given me that outlet too. Being able to share and making videos is a lot of fun. – Except editing. Editing is the bane of my existence. lol.

Many of you know that I am pregnant (squeee!!)

and that the first two months were kinda rough. I spend nearly 20 hours a day in bed and slept most of them. I was awake long enough to eat, and felt nauseated nearly constantly. By the end of January, I was actually feeling quite a bit better, though not 100%, but well enough to pick my hobbies back up & get back to doing the things that I love. So, I made a video and I was planning to make another one on February 2nd. That’s when I got a message from my cousin telling me to contact my grandmother. I was really worried because my grandpa Ray is over 80 and has hypertension. The good news is that he is doing well, the bad news is that I found out my father had passed away. Devastated. He’s not perfect, but… He was a really good person. I wrote a little something on this blog about it, because writing helps me process my emotions and that helps me feel better. I was not doing well.

I spent that day on the couch, watching old movies my dad & I used to watch together like “The Princess Bride,” and my husband spent the entire day there with me as I sobbed uncontrollably. I spent the next two weeks in an emotional state that left me drained and withdrawn. I intentionally isolated myself. I didn’t want anyone to see my like that.

However, I had already planned to go visit family later that month- my plane ticket was booked months ago, so I flew back to Canada, and mourned with my grandparents over the loss of their son. It’s not right. No one should ever have to bury their child. I visited with old friends, some of whom I’ve known for decades, and they listened, even as I (unsuccessfully) held back tears as I discussed my father. I was crying because I miss him, and I was crying because I was so grateful to have friends like them. Looking into their eyes and seeing only understanding and patience made me feel very fortunate to have them in my life. Sorry to anyone at the Nordik that day for my out of place display of emotion in the common areas. I spent a lot of time with my great aunt, and my uncles too and we talked about my dad, they gave me a few momentos too. My step grandpa actually told me a funny story about how he met my dad. It was right after my dad lost part of his hand, and he was at a local watering hole. He and my step grandpa started hanging out & talking about what my dad was going through, meanwhile, neither of them knew that my step grandpa was actually waiting for my grandma to get there. So, he introduced my dad to my grandma when she arrived. It’s funny how small towns work like that.

During the last leg of my trip to Canada, I went to visit my mom & step dad. If you’re a follower of mine, you might have seen a couple of my videos about my childhood, and it might occur to you that things were not always perfect at home. While I was there, some things triggered my anxiety and reminded me of negative aspects of my childhood. When I was in my early 20’s, I had gone to therapy and I really thought that my therapist and I had worked through a lot of these issues, but some things triggered my anxiety and I realized that I’m not 100% over everything.

Meanwhile, my cat, Cleo, got mouth cancer. We were told that she would have a few months before the cancer would make it too painful for her to eat- even with the medication. But the cancer progressed extremely quickly, and less than a month later, she was no longer eating because she was in so much pain. She became lethargic and she was clearly emotionally distraught, as she was no longer able to clean or comfort herself. Watching her go through that was heartbreaking for us. We are grateful for the time we got to spend with her. Sometimes, I still expect to see her when I go to the kitchen, or when I’m at the grocery store I still think: Do I need to pick up cat food? She is missed.

In March, I had my next visit with the obstetrician. I was still not feeling 100% in terms of my levels of exhaustion and I was still napping a lot. I figured, well, I’m pregnant, and emotionally, I was not in the best place, so it didn’t seem that odd to me, to be tired. My doctor seemed surprised, so she ordered a few tests, and my vitamin D came back low. I was at 14 ng/mL, and what I need is a minimum of 20, 20-50 is considered normal. She told me to take a vitamin D supplement and the next time we measured my vitamin D, I was at 29 ng/mL.

The best part of visiting my obstetrician is hearing the baby’s heartbeat and seeing the ultrasound. Knowing my baby is healthy and growing strong is an absolute blessing and makes me so happy.

This time, I had lots of questions for my doctor, but one of them seemed especially important: would it be okay for me to go see a therapist to help process everything that’s happened in my life lately?

I was noticing that things that meant a lot to me, and things I enjoy like writing & YouTube seemed so far away and not fun anymore. I needed someone to help me process these things now, so I could get back to being me and doing the things that I love. My doctor encouraged me, and said that going to therapy is healthier to so sooner rather than later.

Like I said earlier, I had gone to therapy in my early twenties, ( – to anyone that went to college with me and had class Thursdays at 2: sorry, I had had therapy at at noon, so my eyes would have been red af and I would not have been in the best mood.-) Because I was going through all this stuff with my dad and my cat and having my anxiety triggered, I decided to go back to therapy, starting once a week again, like I used to.

I have three main goals for therapy:

How to process what triggered me when I visited my parents
How to properly grieve for my father in a healthy way and how to process that grief.
Strategies for dealing with anxiety

So far, I do like my therapist, sometimes it takes a few visits to really develop a rapport, but I’ve seen her three times, and she and I are in the process of getting to know each other. Hopefully I can learn something from her and I can learn some things about myself.

Sometimes, when women become pregnant, we can forget that this is a time of great change for her. There is 50% more blood volume in her body, she needs enough nutrients and specific nutrients, such as Folate, to support the development of her unborn child. She may have new pains or emotional ups and downs. Her body is trying to accommodate everything, but there is not really enough room to do it, so her organs get squished together. My pregnancy has not been free from complications. This month, I started experiencing some random spikes in blood pressure. This is not uncommon during pregnancy and consistent high blood pressure caused by pregnancy is a serious condition that requires medical attention. I have not been diagnosed with gestational hypertension, but I was referred to a cardiologist when I was awoken several times during the night for a few days in a row with heart palpitations. These are also not uncommon during pregnancy, but certainly not nearly as serious a condition as hypertension.

So, I went to the cardiologist. I was “outfitted” with a cardiac monitor, which I was instructed to wear for a 24 hour period. I posted this pic to my Twitter and bragged about my “fancy necklace.” If I didn’t return it- there would be a $2000 charge! This monitor had 5 connection points, one you can see on my chest in the photo, plus 4 others. It measured every single heartbeat- and the data came back with nothing to worry about, just a few early beats, but nothing they plan to medicate me for. I’m also happy to report that my sleep has improved significantly and I’m no longer waking up during the night- except when my husband snores too loud!

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The only other complaints I have are the random round ligament pains and heartburn. I am proud of myself for continuing to take care of myself including nutritionally, and by keeping up at the gym. My doctor has let me know that as long as I am comfortable, I can continue working out, and I intend to do so until I become too rotund.

While I was experiencing all these things, some days were better than others, and I got a lot of support from my family. I am grateful for their continued support.

I am happy to report that I am feeling a lot better, both physically and emotionally these days and I have rediscovered my passion and motivation to write and film! So excited to continue to share with y’all!

THANK YOU for being here with me!

Lemme know what you think in the comments! If you’re a momma, tell me about your experience or opinions!

There’s something you should know about my dad.

There are a lot of things I could tell you about my dad. He lost part of his hand in a terrible accident at a local furniture manufacturing plant when I was a very young child. Before he lost his hand, he made these for me.

He went on to work at that same factory for another 20 years. He had his share of difficulties in life. When my grandmother was pregnant, she contracted the measles, this resulted in some intellectual disabilities, which meant that he had difficulties with reading and math, and also with problem solving. He never really developed the ability to assess people or their motivations, which made him quite gullible. I definitely was quite naive myself, well into my 20’s. I only saw things from my own perspective: I’m a nice person who wants good things for others, so other people must also have my best interest in mind. Growing up, he always had my best interest in mind.

I remember that he didn’t have a lot of money. But that was okay, because my whole family didn’t really have a lot of money. I can’t count the number of times, that he gave me his last $5, knowing that I was literally just going to spend it on candy- I could always count on him to send me home with a belly full of food and a little bit of cash to brighten my Sunday.

I saw him every weekend for years. We played the original card set of Magic The Gathering when I was 7, then when I got a little older we moved on to Axis and Allies. He once bought a white table, and painted, by hand, the entire board onto it so we would have a larger tile on which to place our pieces. Anyone familiar with the game knows you can hardly fit anything in those tiny “country” spaces- especially if you place a factory there! We would watch public access television, and movies like “The Princess Bride,” and play the game for hours. If we didn’t finish, he would leave it set up so we could play the following weekend. I hated how he always called me “Pumpkin” back then, but I kind of miss it now.

There’s something else you should know about my dad: Last weekend, he died. He had a pain in his leg, and went to walk it off- the autopsy confirmed that this was a blood clot, and it travelled to his heart- he died nearly instantly. He wasn’t even in his mid-50’s yet.

My favorite thing about my dad was how he never judged people. He would always be a good friend to you no matter what. He wasn’t trying to figure out what you could do for him, yet he was more than happy to go out of his way for you. He shared his home and his time with all who would accept him for who he was in return. He was always able to find the good in everyone. My closest friends know that he has passed these gifts on to me: any kindness, empathy, generosity, you see in me, these all can be attributed to the man who gave me life. I am grateful that his legacy will live on through me, and his future grandchild.

I remember the last time I saw him, back home in Canada. He just looked at me like he was so proud of me. I always knew I was the most important thing in his life. Andy told me, one time when I left the room, he made him promise to take care of me. “She’s my only daughter,” he would always say that. I know that he died knowing I would be okay. And that that would have been of great comfort to him. He was always there for me. I knew that no matter what, I could count on him.

My father will be missed by all who knew and loved him.

Where Have I Been? Exciting Announcement!

Hello Internet People!

Ok, So… Hi, it’s been a while and I miss you so much! There has been so much going on online, and in my life, and I feel like I’ve missed out on doing my FAVORITE things, like writing & filming. It’s been over a month since I filmed and almost 4 weeks since I published a video. I miss it so much & I can’t wait to get back at it. I am still writing the script for my next video, and it’s going to be an advice video for high schoolers about whether or not they should go to college and how to make that determination.

Basically, if you’re following me on Twitter, (which you should(!!!) because I am always on Twitter. It’s the first thing I check in the morning & I can Tweet from my bed 🙂 ) you’ll already know I haven’t been feeling #amazing lately. I have been quick to let people know that I’ll be completely fine, but I also wanted people to understand why I hadn’t been uploading videos, or posting to my blogs.

Well, I’m finally ready to share that I’m pregnant with my first child. My husband and I are very excited!

I feel so lucky that I am able to bring life into this world and fortunate still that everything is going so well.

I do want to say that, like many expecting mothers, I have been going through a lot of “morning” (all day long?) sickness that has kept me in bed most days. It seems to be subsiding a bit though and I’m finding myself feeling more and more able to move around. I even joined Vyyyper on his Friday night stream this past Friday- and stayed waaaay longer than I had anticipated. I’ve been taking fewer and shorter naps and overall, I’ve had more energy the past 3 days than I have in the past month.

I am looking forward to sharing with you, my journey to & through motherhood and hope y’all will join me during this incredible time of my life.

Equipment I Use for YouTube

Good day, fellow #NoSmallCreator family member! Or human interested in the equipment I use, hello to you too! I just wanted to write today about [some of] the equipment that I use to make my YouTube videos, as a “smaller creator” on YouTube.

The first thing I think most people are interested in is the camera. I currently use a Canon 80D, which I bought for myself for Christmas last year, just prior to starting my channel. I think these consumer model cameras are great for people who are just starting out and the autofocus is really good, in my opinion. My previous camera, (which I was actually able to sell for about $300, even though it was really old!) a Canon T3i, was good, but it did not make good videos because the autofocus was so poor. I’ve heard that the autofocus is better in the newer models (like the T6i or T7i), but not as smooth as in the 80D model. I’ve even heard that the audio picks up the sound of the lense as it is autofocusing, which is not the vibe I’m looking for in my videos. The T7i model is cheaper than the 80D model, so if you’re looking to save some coin, I think a good mic and some sound-editing could fix the sound issue. The newest Canon camera body out is the M50– I’ve heard really good things about it, and if you’re interested in seeing it in action, check out this video on Brian G Johnson’s channel where he shares how to set it up for the best vlogging quality.

I also own a Canon G7x Mark II. It’s a much smaller camera I use for vlogging when I’m running around and it’s perfect because it allows me the freedom to keep it in my purse, and people don’t react to it the same way they do when I’m vlogging using my large Canon 80D. On top of that, it’s MUCH lighter and easier to hold away from my face for long periods of time.

The second and arguably most important thing, since most people will tolerate lower video quality, but not poor audio quality, is your mic. I own 4 mics that I use in different situations. I have one RODE Video Mic that sits atop my Canon 80D when I’m filming at home in the “studio” which is basically, at my desk in front of my many ikea box shelves. I also use a Blue Raspberry for recording voice overs and during the odd livestream.

My third mic is a lav-mic I use when I’m out & about using my vlogging camera, it’s SUPER cheap- I was just unwilling to pony up the $60 for the Rode smartLav+ instead, I spent $12 and got this Lav Mic by POP Voice. The reviews were positive, and I was in no hurry, so it wasn’t a risk for me to maybe have to exchange it for the Rode model if the Pop Voice one didn’t work out. Well, I’m happy to say that it absolutely worked out, and the audio for almost all my vlogs now comes from this mic- which is miles better than the audio from the Canon G7X. Trust me, if you buy the G7X, you’ll want an external audio source- the native audio on that camera is just not great unless you’re in a silent room. Otherwise, it picks up everything.

The final mic I have, which I actually haven’t even used (YET!) is my Rode Reporter Mic. I plan to use this during interviews, but I’ve not ventured so far in my YouTube journey as of yet. It is the best on the market in my opinion for newbies, as far as reporter mics go & I’ve heard it in action on a lot of my favorite creators’ channels.

Anywho- Those are a few of the things I use right now as far as camera and sound go. What do you use on your channel? Let me know in the comments below!

Who IS Shannon Vlogs – PART 1

I was born to a teenage mother in a small town outside of Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. I enjoyed the first three years of my life, living with my French-Canadian grandfather, and my mother in my childhood home. My first memory is of eating pablum. Please don’t feed that to your children- or at least add some sugar. It literally tastes so terrible that I had an emotional response so strong to eating it that it was embossed in my tiny baby memory.

I remember pulling the dials off the old radio, chewing on them, them and basically anything else I could get my sticky, chubby hands on. I am glad that led paint was no longer being used in kids’ toys by then. You can see the radio in the background. It is at my head-level. And here I am, perched on my favorite unicorn.

I remember climbing up on the kitchen counter and pulling the powdered chocolate out of the cupboard, making a huge mess trying to mix myself some Nesquik, and trying in vain to clean it up prior to hearing my grandpa’s footsteps coming down the stairs.

No more radio- we got rid of it after I chewed too many of the buttons.

I remember lots of toys, and visits from grandma and grandpa, cousins, aunts and uncles… and then I remember moving boxes. Moving boxes piled so high that you could climb on top of them. So, I did that. Then, the gigantic pile of moving boxes collapsed under the weight of my three-year-old body. And a few days later, my mom, my dad, and I moved to a tiny apartment a few miles away.

We had hamsters, that my mom did not particularly like- since their cage/ tubes were difficult to clean and maintain. So, they were given away only a couple of months after we got them. RIP Poto & Koto, I hardly knew ye. There was a park a couple of blocks away. I remember asking my mom if I could go. She said “maybe later.” When my mom says maybe, it’s really no. I learned this from a very young age, about the same time I noticed that Santa’s handwriting was the suspiciously similar to mommy’s handwriting… So, I went to the park. It was only 3 blocks away, and just as I was about to cross the busy, 6-lane street- and I was totally going to make it- suddenly some big man grabbed the back of my overalls and picked me up by them! And that was the first time I was ever in the back of a cop car. He drove me home- and I still didn’t get to go to the park that day!

Anyways, I just wanted to share a tiny sliver of my childhood with you. I am going to keep sharing- on here and on YouTube. I hope you enjoy my journey.

Hi, I’m Shannon

Hello World!

Welcome to my new website! I have another blog www.lululemonexpert.com where I write about Lululemon, mostly. This blog will be where I tell you about my YouTube channel, videos I’ve created and the inspiration behind them, and will be where I provide sources, additional information and inspiration when I can! I hope you can get to know me, and enjoy the information and entertainment I hope to provide.